Joke #1011

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death

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One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
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has 85.74 % from 1554 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
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has 84.95 % from 901 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 84.45 % from 2151 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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has 84.40 % from 1622 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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has 83.89 % from 418 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
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has 83.69 % from 3266 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 83.46 % from 598 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 83.45 % from 915 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President. The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
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has 83.29 % from 442 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, celebrity, death, political
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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has 83.13 % from 998 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris