Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"