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How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg."
Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?"
Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older."
Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now."
Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.