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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children,
"Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep."
"Why to the waist", the children interested.
"Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you."
The mother returned and her children met her at the door,
"Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep."
"Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?"
"Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!
What is a cow's favourite TV show?
Dr Moo.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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