Joke #1877

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, technology

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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, parrot, technology
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, stupid, teacher, technology
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: technology, weather
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, internet, technology
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan. THE ACTIONS Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor head. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor: THE SECOND MESSAGE Hi Bob, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, that you noticed that darned Autocorrect changed 'Wi-Fi' To 'Wife'. Technology hey? Regards, Alan.
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has 81.16 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, technology, time, wife
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal