What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and takes the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.
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What do you do if you see your TV floating?
Say " DROP IT NIGGA".
What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating?
Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!
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Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
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A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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