What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and takes the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.
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A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full bull.
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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