Joke #1877

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, technology

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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, parrot, technology
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geek, internet, IT, technology, work
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology