How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.
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Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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