How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit.
Finally the bee turned around and flew away.
Why?
The rabbit had two b's already.