What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy." "Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...