What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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