How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.
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A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
And she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
What is the definition of "moon"?
The past tense of "moo"!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?”
Most of the hands go up.
“And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?”
About half the hands stay up.
“Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?”
Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd.
“Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?”
One hand stays up.
The speaker blinks.
“Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?”
The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”