Joke #10142

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

What looks like half a cat? The other half.

A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.

Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.

A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"