Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow.
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Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope."
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs.
As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
What do you call an easy-going rabbit?
Hoppy-go-lucky.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.