A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!