A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today.
We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!”
I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us.
“What did you just call it?” I asked.
“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.