A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse?
A: An Arab mechanic.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?"
Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."