A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."