What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
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What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill
A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."