What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
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Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.