What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
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Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does: “Mooo”.
The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?
Haremail.
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.