What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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