Joke #10564

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
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What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.
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Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.
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A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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