What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
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Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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