What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
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What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
A city child came running into the farmhouse.
“No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled.
“There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.