What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking:
Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one.
What did you do?
Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods...
Cats have never forgotten this.
Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs...
You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God!
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat...
I miss him sometimes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
Me: Hey look its Nemo!
Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish.
Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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