How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Similar jokes
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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life.
One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Vote:
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Vote:
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."