How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.