Joke #10846

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Vote: has 86.84 % from 2370 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, food, husband, little Johnny
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
Vote: has 16.16 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows." Farmer: "Not bunch, herd." Camper: "Heard what?" Farmer: "Of cows." Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows." Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd." Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal