What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.