What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!