Joke #11789

What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, elephant
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand? A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
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has 29.21 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal