Joke #11789

What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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has 24.61 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped. What's a tiger? A stri-ped.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
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What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
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has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal