What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon? A hare dare.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.