What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A Hot Cross bunny.
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree.
He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?"
"Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.
I applied for the position of a keeper at the zoo but turns out I was not koalafied.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.