Joke #10020

Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.  Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"  The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.  Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
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has 84.30 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 45.88 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 82.29 % from 974 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal