What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money.
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.