If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.