Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.