Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress.
"About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?"
"Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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