Joke #10380

Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
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has 28.62 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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How do you get a blonde to drown? Put a scratch and sniff on the showerhead.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 47.14 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear? Data transfer.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico. They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them. As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river. One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light." The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
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has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, mexican
How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t, they’re born that way!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
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has 81.76 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time
Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, holiday
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, easter, money, Santa, stupid
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde