Joke #4269

How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t, they’re born that way!

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.

A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin. Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her. "I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied. To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.

Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!

A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.

If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait Bimbag - a blonde's purse Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her Bimboette - a young blonde Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes Bimboozle - to fool a blonde Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence Bimbozo - another name for a blonde Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall

A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

How is a blond with makeup called? Simpleminded picture.

There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!

Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing. Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. She finds herself barely able to hang on. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away. She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden... Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.