What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate.
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did n ot let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde. “Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"
A blond gave birth to two twins and continously crying. A nurse asks her what's the problem. She replies,"I don't know with whom I have the second baby..."