Joke #10389

Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
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What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
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A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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has 43.39 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
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has 69.73 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, racist
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal