Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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