Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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A very respected Captain in the Foreign Legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old seedy looking camel tied out behind the enlisted men’s barracks.
He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, “Why is a camel tied to the barracks?”
The Sergeant replied, “Well sir, it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do … uh … we have the camel ready for them.”
The Captain said, “Well, I suppose if it’s good for morale, then I guess it’s all right with me”.
After he had been stationed at the fort for six long, lonely months, the Captain simply couldn’t control his sexual angst any longer.
He barked to his Sergeant: “BRING THE CAMEL INTO MY TENT!”
The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders, looked at the other men, and lead the camel into the Captain’s quarters.
Within a few minutes, the Captain emerged from his tent, fastening his trousers, almost beaming with pride.
“So, Sergeant, is that how the enlisted men do it?” he asked.
The Sergeant replied, “Well, sir, usually they just use it to ride into town.”