Joke #1878

Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
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has 23.03 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 80.26 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, food
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel