Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you! " in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid."
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.