Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
A man has a racehorse, never won a race.
Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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