Joke #10440

Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Vote: has 82.80 % from 121 votes. Send joke:
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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc... The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said, "OK," and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.
Vote: has 82.29 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Vote: has 80.59 % from 131 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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