2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she’s gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she’s gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says "I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!'"
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.