What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
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Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
A man takes his wife to the stock show.
They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.”
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year.
That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.”
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.”
The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.”
The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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