What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
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Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits feet.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts.
Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand.
So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!"
and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?"
and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.