What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
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The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.
During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges.
That's why we have the camel,sir."
"The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent .
Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir," the First Sergeant replies.
"They usually just ride the camel into town."
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.