Joke #10063

What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
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has 13.96 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, republican
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 63.17 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, nerd