Joke #10063

What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
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has 72.83 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 14.74 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog