Joke #10515

How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.

Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.

Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.

A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.

I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"

Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.