How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.
What's a rabbits favorite TV show? Hoppy Days.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!