Joke #10529

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
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Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
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Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal