What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
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What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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