What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!