Joke #883

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.

Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.

Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.

What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.

Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong.

Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.

Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."