If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck.
The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino!!
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse.
Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?"
"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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