Joke #10545

If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped. What's a tiger? A stri-ped.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
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has 63.69 % from 607 votes. More jokes about: animal, marriage, wife
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull yourself up.” And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes!
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food