Joke #10688

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
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What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
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Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
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Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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