Joke #10688

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, travel
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bible
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, money, soccer
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote: has 56.89 % from 69 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bar, women
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
Vote: has 18.30 % from 4 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Vote: has 48.78 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, racist
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal