Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
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Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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