Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
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Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?"
Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow.
As he walked, he came upon a hole.
Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down.
No sound.
So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down.
No sound.
As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam.
He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in.
No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted.
Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed.
He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole.
He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up.
The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?"
The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends.
Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well.
He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo.
Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length.
So he asked his aunt what was that.
His aunt responded: "That is nothing"
On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick.
Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing."
His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"
Me: Hey look its Nemo!
Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish.
Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.