Joke #10688

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.

What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.

What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.

Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.