Joke #10688

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Vote:
has 83.20 % from 1154 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, death, kids
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
Vote:
has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
Vote:
has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that he could recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument started. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the BET was on. They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, “Springbok.” Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, “And it was shot with a 22 rifle.” He was right! The others could not believe it and the argument was even hotter than before. When someone suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again for another round. So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in the trunk of his car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Kalahari Lion.” Fingering the bullet hole, he added, “The rifle was a 308.” He was right again! This only made the crowd more curious, and he had to prove his skills over and over again, every time winning a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, “Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I didn’t get into a fight. So where did I get this black eye?” His wife replied angrily, “From me!” “What did I do?” he asked. She replied, “You got into bed and put your hand inside my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced, ‘Skunk, killed with an ax!’”
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, game, hunting
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Vote:
has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal