Joke #10688

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
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A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
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Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
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There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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has 74.65 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer