What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino!!
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How does a leopard change its spots?
When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.