Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
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What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff!
I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"