Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
How is a rabbit like a plum? They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Megasoreass.
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.