Joke #9956

If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull.

Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!

What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.

A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."

Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"