If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.