If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion.
You can always shoot the bull.
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Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.