Joke #10565

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit? A rabbit that says, "Ribbit."
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A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
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has 82.02 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
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has 79.37 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, hospital, love, women
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
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has 81.00 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal