What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.