Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.
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How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup some interest!
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
You hold his nose!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts.
Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand.
Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand.
So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!"
and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?"
and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!