What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
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What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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