Joke #1071

Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money

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I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas." He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas. The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!" He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black! He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus" 21 RED! And then the voice goes "Damn!"
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A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas. His parents could only afford a yo.
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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
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A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records. The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’ ‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man. ‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
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Q: What's the best way of investing your money? A: Alcohol, where else do you get 40%?
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money