Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.
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My wife and I have a joint account.
I deposit money and she withdraws it.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her face is on the food stamp.
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors."
Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"
I lost 125 pounds.
It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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