Joke #1071

Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
Vote:
has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.” Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?” Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?” Tech Support: “Yes.” Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?” Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.” Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.” After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.” Tech Support: “Yes?” Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?” Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.” Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
Vote:
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, money, phone
Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
Vote:
has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Billy, learned at school that everybody has secrets. So, he decided to take advantage of it. One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her: "Mommy, mommy! I know everything!" His mom, obviously scared to death: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?" "Okay mommy!" says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face. When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well: "Daddy, daddy! I found out everything!" Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?" "Okay!" says Billy with a bigger smile on his face. The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman. He thought he could try it to him too: "Mr. Focker, I know everything!" The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms: "Then, come... Come closer... My son!"
Vote:
has 80.84 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: dad, death, kids, money, school
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
Vote:
has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid
Misers are lousy to live with, but they make great ancestors.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Vote:
has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money