When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.