When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."