When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.