What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
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Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage.
Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.
Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days.
Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.
As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist.
One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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