What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it."
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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