What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Q. What did the frog say to the fly? A. You are really starting to bug me!
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.