What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast.
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".
"Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first."
The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.
But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."
He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.
"Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasoreass.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
Vote:
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.
Vote: