Joke #10719

What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
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What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
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What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
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Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
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