What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.