Joke #10719

What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.

Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.

There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”

The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"

One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."

A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.