What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.