What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
