What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess. He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile. ‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’