A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men.
One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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