Joke #4896

Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
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has 78.73 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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has 69.95 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal