Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
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What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse?
A: An Arab mechanic.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."