Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.