Joke #10051

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"

Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.

"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.

What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.

Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.