What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes. He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?" The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!