What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can make you curious.
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.