What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
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Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
You hold his nose!
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."