Joke #10051

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"

What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.

Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.

Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.

A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"

Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!

What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.

My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.

How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."