Joke #10863

Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
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An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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