W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
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Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
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How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
Because black people have no rights...
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