W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in." The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds."
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.