W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." David: "Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.